Dennis...A Long Overdue Update

Doug's brother, Dennis, has been mentioned in several of my posts over the years; but I've recently felt that I needed to fill in the gap since my last mention of him. 

To briefly summarize, Dennis had his left leg amputated below the knee in 2014, due to complications from diabetes. It meant that he couldn't return to his apartment in Coldwater, Michigan because the structure couldn't be modified to accommodate a wheelchair. It fell to Doug and me to find an apartment for him so he would have a place to live when he was released from the hospital. 

We were so blessed to find Silver Star Apartments in Battle Creek, Michigan, adjacent to the Veterans Administration Medical Center there. The fully furnished apartments had been built to accommodate homeless veterans, of which Dennis was now one. And the cost was subsidized according to ability to pay. It was an answer to prayer. 

With the help of Home Health Aides, Dennis was able to live on his own at Silver Star until September of 2020, when, after a fall in his apartment, he was hospitalized for a time. Then he had to go to a skilled nursing facility for rehabilitation. Things went downhill from there. He was back and forth between the rehab facility and the hospital, losing ground steadily. 

He died on March 12, 2021. 

Dennis had three daughters but was divorced from their mother when the girls (who are now grown women but who we still refer to as "the girls") were about four and a half, two and a half, and one and a half. They moved to northern Michigan with their mother, and Doug and I had never really known them until all this began to happen with their dad. 

When Dennis had his leg amputation, the two older daughters came to see him in the hospital. The youngest had never really had an opportunity to know Dennis very well and was okay with leaving things that way. 

During the final few months of Dennis' life, Doug and I used social media to keep the girls up to date with the changes in their dad's health. As a result, our relationship with them began to strengthen. Now, although we are separated by several hours of travel, a healthy relationship with our three nieces is developing. 

Just recently, we all met at Dennis' gravesite, in commemoration of his birthday, after which we all went to Station 66, where we could sit at a picnic table in the shade of a tree and visit for as long as we liked over ice cream treats.

Before we parted that day, the youngest daughter, who had been essentially estranged from our side of the family for most of her life, suggested that we get together again before winter. It made my heart beat with joy. 

Family is important!

In the above photo, that furry little blob of black and white is the pet skunk of Daughter #1.

Catching Up

This post will cover an assortment of pictures and life updates that haven't been mentioned here since I've cut way back on my blogging. 

I'm going to begin with my oldest great-nephew, Curtis. The last time I posted anything about Curtis was in 2015, when he graduated from high school. That's largely because, with his involvement with college and the activities that go along with that period in the life of a young adult, I didn't see him again until his wedding last year. And now he's a daddy. I'm still trying to get my mind around that. But here are some pictures to prove the reality of it.

Curtis & Gaby on their wedding day

Proud parents of newborn baby, Magnolia Thea

Curtis' First Father's Day as a Father

Gaby and her new daughter

The next three photos are from Ouabache State Park, one each from April, May, and June.

The Redbud trees are so glorious at the park in the spring.

This one was taken two and a half weeks after I'd had a total left hip replacement. Doug had fitted the walker with a footrest which allowed me to keep my feet elevated, thereby reducing the swelling.

Ouabache State Park is home to a small herd of American buffalo, the newest member of which is this little calf, born on June 6. She has become the most popular attraction at the park...or at least the most popular attraction in the buffalo pen.

The next picture was taken alongside the street leading to our house in the retirement community where we live. It's not a great photo, but I include it because a quail is a relatively rare sighting for us. They're generally shy and not seen out in the open like this.

Quail

A Quick Trip to North Carolina

Doug's sister, Linda, who lives in North Carolina, called us on Saturday, August 18, to let us know that her husband, Larry, had died the day before. A bad fall a few days earlier had resulted in a severe head injury, from which he couldn't recover. 

Doug and I talked it over after the phone call from Linda and decided that, even though there wasn't to be any kind of funeral service for Larry, we'd like to go, just to be there for Linda. We couldn't leave before Monday afternoon because we had appointments to change and needed to get an oil change for our vehicle before making the 1500-mile (2414-km) round trip.

We arrived at Linda's on Tuesday afternoon. She was doing well, having gotten some good counsel from the funeral home that was arranging the cremation. And her son, Shawn, from Tennessee, was staying several days with her and helping her through the details that need to be attended to after a death. We had missed seeing Shawn's sister, who had been there but had left before we arrived.

We were able to spend some time with Linda and Shawn on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, before starting for home about 10:30 Thursday morning. We drove straight through and arrived home at 12:30 AM on Friday. (We had missed our own bed.) 

I thought you might enjoy seeing some photos from Linda's house and yard. She is a landscape designer and has had some fun using her creativity in her own backyard. 

Shawn and Linda

Linda relaxing with her dog, Finn

31 Years!

Yesterday was our anniversary. Thirty-one years! Yikes! Where does the time go?

This wasn't a major anniversary; and, after all, there had already been 30 of them. So we hadn't planned anything special. I had volunteered to work in the church office from 9 AM to 2 PM, covering for another volunteer who needed the day off. After that, we had just planned to enjoy a nap, have a quick supper, and go to church for our mid-week Bible study.

But then...good friends, Terry and Diane, contacted us the night before. They live about 50 miles south of us, but Terry had to come to Fort Wayne for a medical appointment Wednesday afternoon. They wondered if we could meet for a meal so they could celebrate our anniversary with us.

Suddenly, we had plans for celebrating the occasion.

Anniversary Flowers

When I came home from working at the church office, I found a bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table, accompanied by the photo book that I had made for Doug for our 20th anniversary. He has loved that book since I gave it to him on our trip to Alaska back in 2007, and bringing it out again on our 31st gave us both the opportunity to look back over those photos from our first 20 years together.  

The rest of the photos in this post were taken by Diane at the restaurant...well, except for the one of the four of us, which was taken by our waitress.

These final two pictures are of the outside of the restaurant. One wall of the building consists of windows, overlooking the water and the swans and ducks that call it home.

Many thanks to special friends, Terry and Diane, for making our 31st anniversary special.

30 Years!

When Doug and I married in our forties, we never dreamed we'd live long enough to celebrate 30 years of marriage. But we did! We celebrated our 30th anniversary on Tuesday.

We've been so busy with our cataract surgeries that we weren't able to get away for any kind of a special celebration. But what we expected to be a very ordinary day turned out to be a very special one.

It happened to be the day of our church's monthly lunch and entertainment outreach to senior adults in the community (PEP). Vicki, one of our friends from church, was providing the musical entertainment for this month's PEP, along with a friend of hers from another church. And two dear friends, Terry and Diane, who live about an hour away, drove up to join us at PEP and to spend the day with us.

Vicki began an introduction to two songs that she said were in recognition of Doug and Linda's 30th anniversary. When she said that, I turned to look at Doug and saw him approaching me with a bouquet of red roses. He had managed to purchase them the day before, bring them to the church, and put them in a cooler to keep them fresh. Then he'd conspired with the pastors and with Vicki for just the right moment to present them to me.

The roses were a big enough surprise, but then Vicki began to sing "My Jesus, I Love Thee," a song that we had requested to be sung at our wedding. Doug had asked Vicki to sing that song at PEP, as another special anniversary surprise for me.

On our first anniversary, Doug had given me roses and a framed copy of the music for "My Jesus, I Love Thee," knowing it had special meaning for me.

Our First Anniversary-1988

Our 30th Anniversary-2017

Denise & Vicki (the musicians), Bonnie, Doug, Me, another Linda, Diane, & Terry

Associate Pastor, Dick B. (on the left) and Senior Pastor, Dave T. (in the middle of the four ladies)

After PEP, Terry and Diane went with us to visit the History Center in Fort Wayne, pictures of which were featured in my last post. I'm including a new picture below, taken from the rear of the building.

The History Center (from the rear)

That awning you can see in the lower right corner of the picture of the History Center is part of a block-long area which is home to a Farmers' Market on Saturdays during the summer.

At the History Center with Terry and Diane

After the History Center, we took Terry and Diane to another nearby community, where there's an observation tower overlooking a very large stone quarry.

At the stone quarry with Terry (Diane took the picture)

Then we had supper at a restaurant in the same community where the stone quarry is located, after which, we returned to our house for dominoes and dessert.

Playing Dominoes (Sorry, no pictures of the dessert)

It wasn't a typical way of celebrating a major anniversary; but, at the end of the day, I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather have done. (Although, when we were at the stone quarry, Diane did suggest that our next stop should be a junkyard. Diane's a funny lady.)

Visiting Dennis

We visited Doug's brother, Dennis, last Saturday. He lives a couple of hours from us, and we go about once a month to spend the afternoon with him. Going out to eat is always a part of those visits. Finding a restaurant that we all enjoy is sometimes a challenge, but we've recently discovered a place we can all agree on: a little truck stop with delicious food and a good variety of menu items.

Arlene's Truck Stop in Augusta, Michigan

Dennis with his western omelet, Doug with his wet burrito, and my chicken bacon ranch wrap

A sign on a wall in the restaurant.

After a very filling meal at Arlene's, we stopped at another place for ice cream. Then we found a little park where we could enjoy a little stroll and some time of conversation on a park bench. The following photos were taken at the John Wilson Park in Athens, Michigan.

Hodgepodge

Today's post is a random accumulation of images from the last few weeks. 

First up is a wonderful old barn that I pass several times a week. It sits beside a state highway in an area which is rapidly being overtaken by retail stores and other businesses. The property is for sale, and I fear it's only a matter of time before this beauty is only a memory.

Some of you will remember my talking about Doug's brother, Dennis, who underwent a partial amputation of a leg in 2014. His daughters and their families live a few hours north of Dennis and haven't seen him since his hospitalization three years ago. We live a couple of hours south of Dennis and see him about once a month. Well, on April 29, several members of his family to the north met us and Dennis at Aubree's Pizzeria and Grill in a town approximately an equal driving distance for them and for Doug and me.

Aubree's Pizzeria

A reunion at Aubree's

 

Dennis is in the green jacket, between his oldest daughter, Denise, and my hubby, Doug. Dennis' middle daughter, Becky, is across the table from him, with the man in her life to her right. On her left is Denise's son and his wife. And Denise's daughter and her little son are on the left end of the table. It was a special time, and I hope we'll be able to do it again sooner rather than later.

Also, those of you who have been around awhile will remember my great-nephew, Carson, who is active in music, drama, and dance. On Tuesday, May 2, Carson performed with the high school orchestra in their last performance of the school year. I understand that it was probably Carson's last performance with the orchestra, too. He's considering playing keyboard in the school band next year.

Carson in orchestra performance

 

And lastly in this random mixture, a look at the front of our house and our beautiful azalea bush.

The azalea bush was very small when we bought the house 28 years ago. It's grown considerably in those intervening years. And it just glows when it's in bloom. It's such an eye catcher that we notice the Amish checking it out as they drive by in their buggies. It's about the only time of the year that they pay us much notice.

Charles William

My dad's mother died when Dad was a baby. His father subsequently moved to another state, where he remarried and had two daughters. Dad remained in Indiana and was raised by his maternal grandparents. As a result, I've never had a close relationship with any cousins on Dad's side of the family.

Fortunately, though, there were close cousin relationships on my mother's side of the family.

My mother had two brothers, Charles and Howard.

Uncle Howard had two sons: Charles, who we called "Charles William" to distinguish between him and our Uncle Charles; and Howard, who we always called "Bub." I'm not sure where that nickname came from.

Uncle Charles had three sons and a daughter: Bill, Steve, Rick, and Debi.

And my mom had a boy and a girl: Phil and me.

So there were eight of us cousins. We lost Phil in 1967, in a car wreck. We lost Steve in the same way in 1975. Bill died in a motorcycle accident in 2013. Then, in November, 2015, I received word from Charles Williams' wife that he had died two months earlier, apparently from cancer.

The last time I'd seen Charles William or his brother, Bub, was in 1989, at the time of their dad's death. There had been virtually no contact with them since that time. I wrote each of them a letter in 2009. Bub's was returned with a sticker saying that the forwarding order had expired. Charles Williams' letter wasn't returned to me, so I presumed that he'd received it.

But it wasn't until March, 2015, that I heard from him. He called one night, out of the blue. He had received that letter and had put it in a drawer and kept it all these years. That night, he said, the time seemed right for him to call me. We had a nice conversation, and I was glad for the chance to reconnect with him. I sensed, though, that the reason he had finally called was that he believed his time on earth was growing short.

Charles William was estranged from everyone in the family, including his two grown sons and his brother.

When I learned of his death, I contacted his ex-wife, who had not known about it. She notified his sons. I also called the last number I had for his brother, Bub. I reached Bub's wife and learned that they had been divorced several years ago. She gave me his new number, and I was able to renew contact with him and let him know about his brother's death.

So, the eight cousins are now four. On the positive side, we've now reconnected with Cousin Bub. And, as my cousin, Debi, dryly pointed out, she and I are no longer a minority.

If there are any estrangements in your family that are within your power to heal, I would urge you to consider starting off the new year by making that effort. Family is important and grows even more so as that family begins shrinking.

I wrote a draft of this post right after learning of Charles Williams' death over a year ago but, for whatever reason, never published it. It seemed right to do it now, before any more time passes.

Carson's Dance Recital 2016

My great-nephew, Carson, was in a dance recital last Sunday. I may be weird, but I actually enjoy these dance recitals. This one is run quite well. There were 36 dance events, plus the finale; and the whole thing took about two and a half hours, including a short intermission in the middle. The organizers are very good at keeping things moving, and the performances are always entertaining.

Carson performed in three dances. The first was a modern dance with an Arabian Nights theme:

The next was a tap dance, with a NYC theme:


And the third was ballet:



I loved the father/daughter dance:


There were pretty and athletic ballerinas, in lovely costumes:



But, perhaps best of all, are the little darlings, just starting their dance careers:

For those who care to watch, I'm including videos of Carson's dances. For those who don't care to watch, I understand.

If you watched, thank you!