A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Texan were captured by fierce tribal warriors during America's Wild West days.
The tribal chief came to them and said, "The bad news is that, now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to make a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how to die."
The Frenchman said, "I take ze poison." The chief gave him some poison extracted from local berries. The Frenchman cried, "Viva la France!" and drank down the poison.
The Englishman said, "A pistol for me, please." The chief hesitated over that request but decided, if they gave him just one bullet and watched him carefully, he couldn't really do any harm. So he gave him an old pistol. The Englishman pointed it at his head, cried, "God save the queen!", and blew his brains out.
The Texan said, "Gimme a fork." The chief was puzzled, but he shrugged his shoulders and gave him a fork. The Texan took the fork, cried, "Remember the Alamo!", and started jabbing himself repeatedly, all over his body, with the fork.
The chief was appalled and screamed, "What are you doing?"
The Texan looked at the chief and said, defiantly, "See if THIS will float!"